My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
