Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
