do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
