dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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