i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
