; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Your dad touched me again.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
