Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
