I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
