I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
