she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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