She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
