Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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