I want to have your abortion
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
So squirting runs in the family.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
