He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
