The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
