She announced her abortion via fbk
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
