Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
