I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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