Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
