We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Sober January is a disaster.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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