all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
