i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
