You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
