I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
We don't watch enough power rangers
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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