Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
