ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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