awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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