Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
