You can't special order awesome
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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