Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
