this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
