11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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