i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
meet me or not, i'm out of control
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
