hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
