It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
