Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
