I must be too annoying 4 u.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
