Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
