clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
