Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
