I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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