i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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