There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
