New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
