Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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