why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
