I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'm drive I can fine osifer
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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