I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
