im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
