gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
