Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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