last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
