I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
