Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
