i permit you to call me
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
